When his spaceship crash-lands outside of Newton College, destroying his papers, weapons, and clothes, Phil thinks that his life has hit rock-bottom. But when he’s forced to hide out in Alpha Tau Ceti fraternity, he learns that life can always get worse… Now laser-toting assassins are after him, the dean wants him to help hunt for UFOs, and his frat brothers are building something in the basement–but the most dangerous thing he’s discovered about Earth–is girls.